Would you like fries with that?
1. Big Mac sauce is said to contain all the flavour in a Big Mac, except the beef.
And there’s supposed to be a slice of pickle in every bite. Soz, gherkin haters.
2. It’s really hard to feel good about yourself in a hairnet.
3. The rest of the uniform’s not much of a confidence booster either.
Those high-waisted trousers .
4. People seem to get off on asking you how many stars you have.
You’d have 25 stars for not punching people who ask you stupid questions if badge stars were even still a thing.
5. But not as much as they’ll enjoy telling you how chicken nuggets are really made.
6. You look forward to being put on the dining area shift because it allows ample opportunity for hiding in the toilets.
“I’m just checking them”.
7. It takes less than 30 seconds to cook a McDonald’s burger patty from frozen.
8. And there’s no such thing as “flipping” burgers, because they’re cooked from both sides at once.
They go in a grill like a giant George Foreman.
9. There’s nothing like the pain of burning your fingers every time you try to fish out a bun that’s stuck to the toaster.
10. Except for the agony of catching your elbow on the corner of a chip pan when you tip out a fresh batch of fries.
11. You’ll spend your entire shift snaffling fries on the sly when you think nobody’s looking.
13. But then still eat the entire food allowance for your shift when your break comes around.
14. You dread your shift coinciding with pub closing time because that’s when you get the worst weirdos.
15. You’ll always get some chump ordering “a Big Mac, plain, but with ketchup”.
So, not a Big Mac, then. A Big Mac doesn’t even have ketchup!
“@iserveMcdonalds: can I get a #1 meal? Me: okay, what kind of drink?Customer: no drinkMe: okay so you don’t want the meal”#mylife
17. You find yourself deliberately ignoring customers who shout, “Helloooooo” into the drive-thru speaker if you don’t take their order within half a second.
18. You dread anyone ordering a Filet-O-Fish because you’ll have to cook it to order every time.
Because who the eff ever orders a Filet-O-Fish?
19. Especially if you wear glasses, because steaming the bun will cloud them right up.
20. Trying not to lose patience with people who wait until they’re at the front of a long queue to decide what they want is a serious test.
21. Not quite as much as being polite to customers who complain about not having fresh fries, and then complain about waiting for fresh fries to cook, though.
22. But it’s mostly worth putting up with, because free burgers!
And of course, money and a job.
The Big Mac sauce reputedly contains all the flavours of a Big Mac except for beef. A previous version of this post stated that it the sauce contains the same ingredients as a Big Mac.